Sometimes it seems a little overrated...

So, I just said "Fuck it, I quit".

Yeah. That happened.

Yesterday I quit my job. I've been preparing to quit for a little while, trying to figure out my next step in life. I haven't exactly figured it out yet, but I least moved in the right direction. Everyone has been asking me, what are you going to do next? Believe me, we're all shocked when I don't have an answer. A lot of eyebrows have been raised since yesterday. 

And zero fucks have been given. 

Simply because I am not absolutely at the ready to jump into another stressful, long hour, total time suck does not make me directionless. In fact, I'm moving, it's just slower than I have in the past. And I feel like that's OK. But just so everyone knows, I did accept a position that starts in three weeks. It's less hours and a schedule shift as well as in a pretty laid back setting. I wanted to find a way I could go back to school and write professionally. I want to put more effort into what I really want to do for the rest of my life than waste time. Mostly, I just want to stop giving other people the control over how my life goes. You know, whether you get a raise, or if you're going to have a good day or get yelled at, or have crazy people literally try to ruin your life at work everyday. I really hate that. 

I am absolutely too young to live every working day miserable. My father gave me the most important advice I have ever needed in my adult life. Don't stay somewhere you hate. You spend too much time at work not to have something that makes it worth going. 

Now, that's not saying jobs are always going to be fun and exactly what you want to do, but environment is really important. If you have people around you or a job you love doing, it makes a serious difference in your personal life. For the last three months I have been so down-heartened about work that I have drug my spouse down with me. It hasn't been pretty and it certainly isn't easy. It feels like I was in a hole and no matter how much I tried to get out, the walls just seemed to grow taller. 

And that's not an okay way to live life, regardless of money, benefits or any other excuse you can think of. 

So, I gave my notice and was released from it. And I did so without much of plan because I'm worth taking the risk for. My husband is worth taking the risk for. My life is worth taking the risk for. Because "the future" is such a sham. 

OK. Enough about the past, lets talk about the present.

I feel... GREAT! 

Seriously. I got up this morning without an alarm. I played ball with my dogs. I went to the grocery store and read every label on everything that I bought. I let a woman go in front of me, because I had no where to be. I picked out a nice dinner that will probably take about two hours to prep and cook tonight. I took an hour to make a full lunch for my husband and two of his workers. I stopped at my local pet store and chatted about some ways I can help with a flea problem my dogs have just picked up. I called and talked to my sister. And now, now I am writing this blog. Tonight I will write on Kill Match and make dinner and do laundry. 

I accomplished more today than I ever have on a Saturday after working a full week. The reason? Because I know I don't have to go to work tomorrow or the next day. I know that there's enough time to do whatever I want without worrying about being able to relax or sleep or clean or eat. I don't have to rush around when everyone else in the world is rushing around, because I can wait. I have time. 

And time, dear people, is the most valuable thing. 

There's so many things I wish I would have known before and this is probably the biggest. I know that I am going to go back to work, because I actually like having a job, but I want to make sure it's something that is worth my time. That the people I work for and around are worth my time, because I'm valuable and it's important to me that I'm treated as such. Until then, I am going to treat myself that way. I am going to use my time accordingly and I am going to try my damnedest to figure out what I love and how I can make that my profession. There is so much out in the world for me that I would be a fool to waste this opportunity to find what makes me happy. 

Until I figure it all out, I'll just smile when people ask, "What're you doing now?"

Whatever I like.